Recently, I have been reading Sun Tzu’s, “The Art of War” which puts a lot of emphasis on the duty of the “wise general” to either be mindful of his flaws or face consequences that will undermine his success. This principle came to mind when I saw Geoffrey James’ article about the “five common habits of speech that alienate coworkers and vastly limit your ability to inspire and lead others.” As an entrepreneur, the reputation of your business lies on your shoulders. As such, you have to pay even closer attention to your actions so that you do not make the following communication blunders when dealing with customers, while networking, etc.:
1. Speechifying: “where you end up talking AT somebody rather than talking WITH somebody.”
a. Example: presentations with limited audience participation.
- James’ Fix: always remain mindful of how long you have been speaking without giving others a turn. Never exceed more than three statements without asking a question.
2. Interrupting: Even if you can anticipate what others are going to say, according to James, interrupting the drawbacks of interrupting are:
a. “it's disrespectful to the other person and deeply resented,”
b. “the other person might have said something valuable.”
- James Fix: Always allow the other person to speak uninterrupted and take the time to listen – even if it’s just to “sense tone and nuance.”
3. Badmouthing: “Whenever you badmouth, however, the other person is usually thinking ‘What's he saying about ME behind my back?’"
- James Fix: Unless you answer Yes to the following 3 questions, it is best not to say anything:
i. “Is it true?”
ii. “Is it kind?”
iii. “Is it necessary?”
4. Profanity: Though sometimes appropriate, according to James, habitually using profanity “marks you as a person whose anger lies just below the surface and who lacks the imagination to think of something original.”
- James Fix: Simply become more aware of this habit and practice substituting profanity with less offensive words.
5. Horn-Tooting: James believes that, “bragging about your accomplishments (or those of your group, company or product) doesn't increase your credibility; it just bores people.”
- James’ Fix: Focus on how you’ve helped others in the past and your plans to do so in the future instead of focusing only on yourself.
As a business owner, you also have to be careful about making these communication errors when dealing with your employees. Anything that erodes cohesion within your team also undermines the efficacy of your venture and, as such your success. If you are guilty of anything on this list (I must admit that I sometimes engage in numbers 1 and 2), just be more aware of your speech patterns and you’ll be able to break the habit in no time.
