I am a semi-introvert (i.e. I can be social if required, but I prefer solitude). And, I also do not have a poker face… so essentially, whatever I am thinking /feeling is usually clearly written all over my face. One of my best friends, on the other hand, is quite the opposite. To know her is to love her. She attracts people like fly to honey; and that is before she turns on her megawatt southern charm. Also, nobody is better at camouflaging her internal views.
Now the running joke between us is that, despite this dynamic, I was the one who became the expert on communication. Why? Because I (like many of you) am intimately familiar with the scenario below:
Businesswoman Celine wonders: 'I have just given a well-prepared presentation showing how I can effectively help a prospective client but I still could not close the deal.
Client: Celine's work was the best we have seen and she has the best credentials. But, there is just something about her... I can't put my finger on it...
So, I had to find ways to minimize my natural deficiencies so that I could achieve career success.
Celine (in the scenario above) is having difficulties because she is focusing on the wrong thing. As business owners, you are tasked with perpetually communicating confidence and competence to your customers, investors and other business partners. Though we always focus on saying the right things and having the perfect presentation, this is what people focus on when you interact with them:
The Factors That Go Into Non-Verbal Communication Are:
1. SPATIAL RELATIONS
a. Relative positions while communicating
b. Proximity to each other during the discussion
2. BODY LANGUAGE
a. Eye contact
b. Arm position
c. Posture
d. Personal Appearance
3. SPEECH PATTERNS
a. Pace
b. Volume
c. Pitch
d. Tone
4. TIMLINESS
a. Promptness or Tardiness
b. Primacy and Recency
5. THE SENSES WE REFER TO WHEN WE SPEAK
a. Visual (“I See what you mean”)
b. Auditory (“That sounds great to me”)
c. Touch (“That feels right to me”
Putting It Into Action:
The way you position or use your body can be calming or could aggravate a situation.
You should:
- Use calm body language - a relaxed posture with your hands unclenched and an attentive expression.
- Get on the other person's physical level: If they are seated, try take a sitting down also, rather than stand over them.
- Give the other person enough physical space, usually about 3 feet.
- Develop a poker face – don’t show anger or distaste when your “hot buttons” are triggered:
Our “hot buttons” are things like rejection, humiliation and condemnation that undermine the image we want to project to others. When something or someone triggers one of them, we tend to give in to our habitual emotional response. While you cannot easily rid yourself of your hot buttons, you can learn how to manage them.
- Use mental imagery, like going to the balcony, to manage your hot buttons.
- Look engaged in what is going on. Your audience will be turned off by disconnectedness and lack of responsiveness.
More importantly, you should not:
- Pose in a challenging stance, such as putting your hands on your hips, pointing your finger, waving your arms, or crossing your arms.
- Glare or stare, which may be interpreted as challenging.
- Constantly looking down, without make eye contact, shows nervousness so you have to constantly be aware of this.
- Give in to our hot buttons.
